Tuesday, Day 3:Went to sleep thinking about food. Woke up thinking about food. When we talk about food insecurity, I think this is what we mean. And this is how I feel about my precious stockpile:
I don’t think I realized how hard it would be to balance your body’s desires, needs, and your own appetite within these budget constraints. I also thought it would be easy to eat healthy, but my diet these past days has been uneven and lacking. I forget that when I am preparing my lunch for school or work, I have the benefit of oils, spices, salsa, mustard, nuts, seeds, and any type of other flair or flavor. Every day I can choose anything I’ve stocked up in my cabinets, because I have enough flexible cash to shop and spend what I want. I can buy coffee if I want, and I can share ice cream with friends. But on public assistance, I can only shop at food stores, and I don’t have the luxury of stocking up. I can play the hunger challenge as a game, knowing full well I can “cheat” and steal a bite of something else in my house. Today, that all ends. The stress of what it would feel like to be so limited and still trying to make good choices is starting to hit me.
In this challenge, I have 3 days and 3 dollars left. Shortly after a breakfast of cheerios with apple pieces, toast with banana slices, and yogurt, I headed out to do errands and work out at the gym, but was forced to come home to eat rather than staying out and about and simply buying a snack.
At the First Presbyterian shelter where my friends and I operate a weekly nursing clinic, we have a client who is highly athletic, working out for an hour or more every day at the YMCA. He is a newly homeless young guy who has been working hard and eating well his whole life, and now is left with the fatty, strange, or mismatched food he can get for free at the city's shelters. Because he runs and works out so much, he cannot keep weight on, but also worries about the poor nutritional content of what he is eating. We are able to supply multivitamins, but cannot fix his situation. While the food at the First Presbyterian shelter is delicious, and I often share a plate with the other volunteers, we are often stuck trying to explain to our diabetic or hypertensive clients about the best food choices, knowing that they will take a salty or sugary option over nothing, as any person would do. One of our lead nurses last week went through the food line with a diabetic client, showing him to focus on protein and complex carbs, and skip the white rice and lemonade. While we don't always have great options, we were trying to help him see the better options.
Last Wednesday, several of us had been sampling the rice with spicy chicken and vietnamese glass noodle salad, and had left half of our food on the counter, forgotten. After we served one of our clients, he motioned me out into the hall and quietly asked if he could have our leftovers. I felt horrible that we had brought in food and then carelessly wasted it, but I said of course, and assured him the fork was still clean. Felt like a jerk nonetheless.
Lunch: Tuna mixed with plain yogurt and cut up apple pieces, cucumbers, salt, and pepper, on bread toasted with cheese and spinach. White rice. Side of sweet potato fries and baby carrots. Milk. Finally—this is a lunch.
Mid-afternoon caffeine withdrawal headache hit again. Luckily I had my stash of diet soda. Wish I had the foresight to purchase black tea or instant coffee, but can’t spend the tiny I have remaining. Might sell my secondborn if this bottle runs dry.
I had sort of been hoping that I would be invited out to a bar or restaurant during this challenge so I could try and make it through the social event without spending any money. (“Oh, nothing for me, I just ate… I’m not drinking this month…. Just ice water, I’m the designated driver on the bus today….”) Most of my friends are also grad students, so cheapness is the name of the game when we’re out, but what if even $4 for happy hour or an iced coffee was out of my reach? How would I still be able to socialize without feeling awkward?
I had already planned to have dinner tonight with my parents and sister, but now was stuck since I couldn’t accept food. I explained the situation and we agreed to eat parallel meals. I brought the rest of my turkey and made burgers again, with breadcrumbs, salt, pepper, and fresh basil. My family was full of suggestions on what I should have bought—things with coupons, half-boxes of eggs, bulk spices at Fred Meyer, organic snacks from Grocery Outlet. Of course, I had done none of these things, and with 3 dollars to my name, couldn’t redo it. They were all pretty sure the Hunger Challenge would be a breeze, until I said they couldn’t use stockpile in their cupboard, not even oil or spice or flour. Start at ground zero, maybe try to do it without a kitchen. Naively, they still thought they could do it in style, and for cheaper than the allotment, so I now raise the challenge to them.
My mom unknowingly taunted me by making my favorite meal in the world, homemade mac and cheese. My burger, condiment-free, now was half as appealing but I was still able to share a meal, deciding it was okay to trade a bite of mac for a bite of turkey in the name of bartering.
And then my dad had to go and make his famous Uncle Seth’s homemade cookies… with PINK frosting! Just one bite for an otherwise spend-free and cheat-free day.
Money spent today: $0
Running total: $32.10
Nutrition eval: Better
